[Fat] [Big] [Stupid] [Ugly] [Old] [Teeth] [Nasty] [Poor] [Short] [Other] [Hairy] 1. Yo mamma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. 2. Yo mamma is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on! 3. Yo mamma' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh! 4. Yo mamma's so fat, that when she goes outside in a red shirt all the neighborhood kids all point at her and yell "Hey Look! It's Kool-Aide!" 5. Yo mamma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. 6. Yo mamma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. 7. Yo mamma's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. 8. Yo mamma's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower. 9. Yo mamma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mamma" 10. Yo mamma's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's. 11. Yo mamma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live. 12. Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up 13. Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. 14. Yo momma so fat were in her right now 15. Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise 16. Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone 17. Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors 18. Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world 19. Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy 20. Yo momma so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" 21. Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" 22. Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized 23. Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway 24. Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller 25. Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets 26. Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th 27. Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too 28. Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" 29. Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! 30. Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" 31. Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. 32. Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. 33. Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. 34. Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! 35. Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! 36. Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! 37. Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! 38. Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! 39. Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! 40. Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... 41. Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. 42. Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! 43. Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! 44. Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! 45. Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! 46. Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose. 47. Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! 48. Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! 49. Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! 50. Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! 51. Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! 52. Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! 53. Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! 54. Yo momma so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! 55. Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! 56. Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! 57. Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! 58. Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! 59. Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! 60. Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! 61. Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! 62. Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car! 63. Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping 64. Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. 65. Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. 66. Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. 67. Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. 68. Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her 69. Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. 70. Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcom X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! 71. Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth 72. Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures 73. Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. 74. Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" 75. Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! 76. Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. 77. Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship 78. Yo momma so fat she accidentally got a 747 caught in her teeth 79. Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons 80. Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her 81. Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!! 82. Yo momma so fat her waist size is larger than her IQ!!! 83. Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development 84. Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94" 85. Yo momma so fat she wears two watches because she's in two time zones! 86. Yo momma so fat She thought gravy was a beverage 87. Yo momma so fat I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand 88. Yo momma so fat She had to get out of bed to roll over 89. Yo mamma's so big, her belly button's got an echo. 90. Yo mamma's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. 91. Yo mamma's so big, she roller skates on busses. 92. Yo mamma's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings. 93. Yo mamma's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind. 94. Yo mamma so stupid she invented the solar powered flashlight! 95. Yo mamma's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out. 96. Yo mamma's so stupid, she failed a survey. 97. Yo mamma's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go. 98. Yo mamma's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window. 99. Yo mamma is so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund! 100. Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes 101. Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read 102. Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! 103. Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. 104. Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." 105. Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. 106. Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. 107. Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. 108. Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. 109. Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl 110. Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! 111. Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. 112. Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. 113. Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. 114. Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics." 115. Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course 116. Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book 117. Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus 118. Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg 119. Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's 120. Yo mamma's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks. 121. Yo mamma's so ugly when she was a baby they had to tie a steak around her neck so the dog would like her 122. Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." 123. Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. 124. Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." 125. Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. 126. Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower 127. Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. 128. Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck 129. Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. 130. Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras 131. Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. 132. Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. 133. Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. 143. Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for an appraisal! 134. Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! 135. Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! 136. Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! 137. Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! 138. Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! 139. Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! 140. Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life 141. Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. 142. Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. 143. Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. 144. Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. 145. Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. 146. Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow 147. Yo momma so ugly the tide wouldn't even take her out 148. Yo momma so ugly that her mother realized that beastiality can have some serious drawbacks. 149. Yo momma so ugly she has little round marks all over her body from people touching her with 10-foot poles. 150. Yo momma so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road. 151. Yo momma so ugly it looks like her face caught fire and they put it out with an ice pick! 152. Yo momma so ugly that when she goes to a haunted house she comes out with a job application. 153. Yo momma so ugly she'd scare a buzzard off a gut wagon. 154. Yo momma so ugly when she was born, the doctor took her and told her mother: "Mamme, if this doesn't start to cry in 10 seconds, it was a tumor" 155. Yo momma so ugly when she was born, the doctor threw her against the ceiling and told her mother: "if it doesn't come back, it's a bat" 156. Yo momma so ugly when you look up Ugly in the dictionary it has her picture. 157. Yo momma so ugly her mother used to put rubber bands on her ears, so people would think the girl was wearing a mask. 158. Yo momma so ugly when she was a baby her mother used to feed her with a slingshot. 159. Yo momma so ugly she wasn't beaten with an ugly stick...the whole forest fell on her 160. Yo momma so ugly she had a face that would sink a thousand ships. 161. Yo momma so ugly that when she fell out of the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way down. 162. Yo momma so ugly when she went to jump in the lake, the lake jumped back!! 163. Yo mamma's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp. 164. Yo mamma's so old, she drove a chariot to high school. 165. Yo mamma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license. 166. Yo mamma's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur. 167. Yo mamma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment 168. Yo mamma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories. 169. Yo mamma's so old, her memory is in black and white. 170. Yo mamma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda. 171. Yo mamma's so old, her social security number is 1. 172. Yo mamma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. 173. Yo momma so old her social security number is 1 174. Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' 175. Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. 176. Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. 177. Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. 178. Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang 179. Yo mamma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter. 180. . Yo mamma's teeth so yellow when she yawns traffic slows down! 181. Yo mamma's so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says "DING!" 182. Yo mamma's so poor, the mat on her front porch says "Wel " 183. Yo mamma's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Ain't you ever seen a mobile home?" 184. Yo mamma's so poor, she can't even put her two cents in this conversation. 185. Yo mamma's so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" she said "Nope, just found one!" 186. Yo mamma's so poor, I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?" 187. Yo mamma's so poor, she sits on the corner with a bunch of roaches singin' "We are family!" 188. Yo mamma's so poor, I came over for dinner and saw 3 beans on the table, I took one and she said "Don't be greedy." 189. Yo mamma's so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. 190. Yo mamma's so poor, she has to take the trash IN. 191. Yo mamma's so poor, she lives in a two story Dorrito bag. 192. Yo mamma's so poor, when I stepped on her doormat she said "Hey, you can't go upstairs." 193. Yo mamma's so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said "Hey, get off the car!" 194. Yo mamma's so poor, I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said, "Hey, who turned off the heater?" 195. Yo mamma's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, "Who turned off the lights?" 196. Yo mamma's so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, "Hey, where'd Grandma go?" 197. Yo mamma's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd tree to your right." 198. Yo mamma's so poor, they put her picture on food stamps. 199. Yo mamma's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it airconditioning. 200. Yo mamma's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention. 201. Yo mamma's so poor, she can't even afford to go to the free clinic. 202. Yo mamma's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps. 203. Yo mamma's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. 204. Yo mamma's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china. 205. Yo mamma's so poor, she married young just to get the rice! 206. Yo mamma's so poor, burglars break in and leave money. 207. Yo mamma's so poor, people rob her house for practice. 208. Yo mamma's so poor, she can't even afford free cookies from the supermarket. 209. Yo mamma's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears. 210. Yo mamma's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk. 211. Yo mamma's so poor, she put a thirstbuster on layaway with food stamps. 212. Yo mamma's so poor, she put free samples on layaway. 213. Yo mamma's so poor, she got arrested for breaking the gum-ball machine because it didn't take food-stamps. 214. Yo mamma’s so poor, I walked into her house, asked what was for dinner, so she lit my pockets on fire and said "Hot Pockets." 215. Yo mamma's so poor, she has a wooden beeper and when it goes off, it goes (Now you knock on something wood) 216. Yo mamma's so poor, when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said "Spagetti." 75. Yo mamma's so short, she can play handball on the curb. 217. Yo mamma's so short, she don't roll dice, she pushes them. 218. Yo mamma's so short, she poses for trophies. 219. Yo mamma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs. 220. Yo mamma's so short, she broke her leg jumping off the toilet. 221. Yo mamma's so short, she be jumping off curbs talkin' bout "Weeee!" 222. Yo mamma's so short, she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet. 223. Yo mamma's so short, she can do backflips under the bed. 224. Yo mamma's so short, she needs a ladder to pick up a dime. 225. Yo mamma's so short, she can hang glide on a Dorito. 226. Yo mamma's so short, her best friend is an ant. 227. Yo mamma's so short, she can surf on a popsicle stick. 238. Yo mamma's so short, you can see her whole body on her driver's license. 239. Yo mamma's so short, she tried to commit suicide with a pin. 230. Yo mamma's so short, she's affraid to get off the carpet alone. 231. Yo mamma's so short, she has to reach up to tie her shoes. 232. Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! 233. Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. 234. Yo momma so short she is the original Q-tip 235. Yo momma so short she poll vaults with a toothpick 236. What's the difference between Yo mamma and a water buffalo? About 25 pounds. 237. The other day when I went over to your house to visit your sister, Yo mamma ran out from under the porch and bit my leg. 238. Yo mamma's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her. 239. Yo mamma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. 240. I would talk about Yo dad but I don't like to brag. 241. Yo mamma's glasses are so thick, she can burn ants with them. 242. Yo mamma's nostrils are so huge she makes Patrick Ewing jealous. 243. Yo mamma lost at Hide N' Seek when I spotted her behind the Himalayas. 244. Yo mamma's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes. 245. Yo mamma fell down on the sidewalk and by the time she got back up she made $1.50. 246. Yo mamma's cookin' is so bad, even the roaches say "Naw man, I ate before I came over." 247. Yo mamma's so bucktoothed, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence. 248. Yo mamma's missing a finger and can't count past 9. 249. Yo mamma's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch. 250. Yo mamma's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a cordless phone. 251. Yo mamma's so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. 252. Yo mamma is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty. 253. Yo mamma talks on the phone so much, it's even busy when I dial the wrong number. 254. Yo mamma drives a peanut. 255. Yo mamma was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." 256. Yo mamma watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. 257. Yo mamma wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. 258. Yo mamma's so nasty, she has to creep up on bath water. 259. Yo mamma's so nasty, she uses her dirty clothes as a weapon. 260. Yo mamma's so nasty, the US Government uses her bath water for chemical weapons. 261. Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. 262. Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. 263. Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. 264. Yo momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place 265. Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarentine since before she was born 266. Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea 267. Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her 268. Yo momma so nasty she put on Secret deoderant and it told on her. 269. Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! 270. Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. 271. Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! 272. Yo momma so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro! 273. Yo momma so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker

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